Lauren's Journal [entries|friends|calendar] Lauren [ website | The story continues ] [ userinfo | deadjournal userinfo ] [ calendar | deadjournal calendar ]

I gave up on you a long time ago, how can you blame me? [19 Nov 2003|10:03pm] [ mood | cold ] [ music | Live in a Hiding Place-Idlewild ] I have changed. I don't know how or why exactly. But it has become apparent recently, while spending time with people I don't get to see that often. They kept asking me, "What's wrong? Why are you sad?" But nothing was wrong. I was perfectly content. The funny thing is, I feel more satisfied with who I am now than I ever have been before. I feel in control of everything that is happening and I'm not lying to myself. No more false facades or pretending something is one way when it's really another. I feel good. When you hold no expectations for something, it is impossible for you to be disappointed. My new motto is to go with the flow. All of my old deadjournal buddies have gone to livejournal...interesting. Do I need a change too? I love my friends...a lot. Especially Brooke and Julia lately. And I miss Kevin and Katie...I wish I could see them more. I wish it was summer. No cares except what you're doing with your friends later on. That's how it should be all the time. 10 comments|post comment

You're an angel, you little devil... [10 Nov 2003|03:34pm] [ mood | drained ] [ music | Total Immortal-AFI ] I don't think anyone quite understands just how much I crave freedom. Or just how little I have. While everyone else takes for granted that they can go out after football games...I'm still the one calling my parents to make sure that it's ok. Because if I don't I would get punished for not respecting my parents. Being alone this weekend convinced me of just how much I'm going to enjoy college life. Not having anyone to tell me what to do all weekend was like heaven for me. And it was probably one of the best weekends ever, even though things didn't turn out as expected. But when do they ever really? I think my favorite times with my friends are when we are alone one-on-one just talking. About anything. And we could go on forever. Or when we are having a sleepover with just the girls. And you're so incredibly tired but you don't want to go to sleep because you don't want to miss out on any of the conversation. To put it plain and simple: I love my frieds, each and every one. Elf is a really funny movie. You should go see it. Sonic has a deal where you can get an ice cream cone for 25 cents now. It's called the "ice cream cone for 25 cents deal". If you are trying to go somewhere in an unknown area really late at night, make sure you have good directions. 2 comments|post comment

Collins Hill: 8th place :):) [30 Oct 2003|09:25pm] [ mood | accomplished ] [ music | Get in or Get Out-Hot Hot Heat ] I don't care what anyone says anymore. I don't care who trashes band because you know what...I think it's awesome. I guess that's why I keep doing it...and why at the end of the season it always seems to be worth it. And no one can understand that unless you have felt the adrenaline rush that comes from performing to a crowd of thousands that are there just to see you. Or when you stand together with 200 band members on a football field singing Amazing Grace...even if you are holding hands with someone you've never talked to before, you are all united by the common bond of music. And that is really amazing. So don't try and tell me anymore how lame band is...because you know what? I like it. 6 comments|post comment

Take your wings outside, you can't fly them here... [23 Oct 2003|10:02pm] [ mood | cynical ] [ music | Last Chance to Lose Your Keys-Brand New ] In the flurry of school related events the last couple weeks, homecoming kind of just passed me by this year. It's still hard to believe it's over...and I only have one homecoming left in high school. That really hits me hard. The dance was fun: thanks to everyone in the group that made the night special-you know who you are. Do you ever have those days when you ask yourself what you are doing? When everything just seems totally irrelevant and unimportant. And you just want to cry your eyes out because it seems like nothing matters anymore and everything is pointless. Those are some of the most depressing moments. When it occurs to you that you can't think of one thing that future generations will remember you for. You feel so insignificant and worthless in the world. It seems as though there have been so many before you exactly like you, and you are no different from any of them. And there are thousands just like you all over the world. What makes you different? What makes you an individual? If only I knew the answers... 8 comments|post comment

You've got a lure I can't deny, but you've had your chance, so say goodbye... [08 Oct 2003|09:14pm] [ mood | pensive ] [ music | September-Story of the Year ] Dreams are really kind of freaky when you think about it. It's scary to think that you have no control over your subconscious mind. And it's really an odd feeling when you wake up from a dream about a certain person and it makes you think of them in a different light just from that dream. It's like mind games...that your own mind is playing on you. Weird. This past weekend was incredible. I don't mean to sound like a band nerd, but it really was an awesome experience. To get 7th place out of 31 bands...that's really a great accomplishment for us. And the whole retreat on the field was one of the coolest experiences ever. I really hope we make finals in Atlanta. I'm so hyped up about band this year, I don't know what it is. I think I'll actually be really sad when it ends. Homecoming is right around the corner, and I am happy to say that I do have a date this year. I am very excited to go with Chris, and I finally bought a dress on Monday. I like it, it's different. We have a four day weekend this weekend, that should be excellent. You would really think that I would have more interesting stuff to write about after not writing for a month...but really I don't. Life is still the same. I don't have much free time, which sucks a lot. That will be the only reason I'll be glad to see band end. Of course then, band will be replaced by band...however I will at least have money. This year is going to be good for me. I can already tell...I'm changing. I think in a good way. Maybe not so much an outward change that everyone can see...but inside, there's a definite difference. 1 comment|post comment

I love you...don't you understand that? [04 Sep 2003|02:47pm] [ mood | rejuvenated ] [ music | I Can't Wait-White Stripes ] It's interesting how much I can want two completely different things at the same time. On one hand, I want to be unique from everyone. I want people to see something different when they look at me, something that everyone else doesn't have. Not necessarilly physically, but personality-wise as well. Yet at the same time, I want to fit in with the crowd. I'm scared of not fitting in. I'm scared of being different. It's a risk to be different. You might not be accepted, people might not like you. But I think it is worth a try. Lately I feel like everyone I know has unique traits to offer...and I am desperately trying to find something to contribute, something that is completely me that no one else can give. But all I can come up with is the same stuff as everyone else already has. Maybe this makes no sense to anyone, but that's okay. This entry is sort of for me to straighten out my thoughts. I don't know what I want right now. It's frustrating. Do I want a relationship? Do I want a core group of friends to fall back on all the time? Do I want to get to know completely new people? Am I happy with who I am? At this point, I feel that a lot of my actions are done just to please others. I want to be myself, but I'm afraid to be myself. I want to be more outgoing, but I can't because I'm afraid of what others will think. I want a boyfriend, but I really don't think I am ready for one. Or maybe I just haven't found the right guy. Someone recently mentioned to me the concept of having a boyfriend who challenged you. This has been on my mind a lot lately. At first, it didn't make sense to me. Why would you want a challenging relationship? But now I understand. If a relationship isn't a challenge, then it cannot go anywhere. If there is no challenge, you lose interest. It's just like a game. If it is too simple, you don't want to play it anymore. Maybe this is my problem-maybe I am not being challenged. Maybe the kind of guy I think I want isn't the right type for me. I think I need this challenge. Or if I can't find this challenge, there is no point in having the relationship because all it does is cause pain to both me and the guy. At this point maybe the whole "friends with benefits" deal is sounding good. No emotions involved, no one has to worry about being in a relationship, easy and carefree. I need to broaden my horizons in many senses. I need to open myself up to more people, people that I normally wouldn't hang out with. As of now, I feel like I don't fit in anywhere. Sure, I have friends, but that core group is missing. But maybe I don't need a "core group". Maybe having one or two best friends can be even better. From the way things have been going lately, that option is sounding more and more appealing. Not that I have a problem with anyone in the "group", I just don't feel that I fit in with everyone anymore. I think we have all changed/developed/matured into different people over the past year. This is no one's fault, just a part of growing up. As your personality further develops, your friends are also going to change, in most cases anyway. This doesn't mean you can't be friends with old friends, just they may not be your "group" anymore. I want to be a good daughter/sister. Right now, quite honestly, I am awful. I am disrespectful to my parents, mean to my sister, and all-around, not a very pleasant person to be around in the house. Why, I don't know. Somewhere around the time we moved here, I developed a kind of apathy towards my parents. Deep down, I do care about them. I just have a hard time showing it. And I don't want them to know all about me either. That's why whenever they ask how my day was, all I say is "Fine." I just have no interest in telling them anything that happened. I want to have a good relationship with my parents, really I do. However, there is a serious lack of communication on my part that makes this nearly impossible. The relationship between my sister and I is also bad. I never talk to her, I rarely even see her. But when I do see her, I am unpleasant and basically a bitch to her. I want to be the "cool older sister" or whatever but I'm definitely not. It's not even that she does anything mean to me. Actually, Taylor is probably the most considerate person I know. She takes after my dad. The best word I can think of to describe myself around my family is "aloof". It's like there's mom, dad, Taylor......and Lauren. This is my own fault, and if I want it to change, it will have to be my doing. I only have two more years left of high school. I want them to be two of the best years of my life. To make them the best, there are two big things that I would like to see change, and I can make both of them change. For one, I want to be myself. I want to do what I want to do, not what others want me to do. I want to be happy with who I am and not be ashamed of who I am. Also, I want my parents to let me do what I want. Right now, they are a little, shall we say, limiting of my activities. But I have a feeling that when I form a better relationship with them, more freedom will come along with it. Another thing I want to do is get closer with God. In the past, to be completely honest, I always went to church, and that was it. I didn't feel connected to God or anything, I really didn't feel that I got that much out of it. Lately things have been changing. Now when I go to church, I am repeatedly amazed by the wonders of God, by His goodness and grace. I want to be closer to that. I recently met this guy at my work named Terrance. He has the best heart I have ever seen. His faith is just so strong and beautiful. He sits there on the phone and just tells me about how amazing God is. And it's just beautiful. It just makes me want to smile all day. It makes me so happy. And I know God can do the same thing for me if I open up and let Him. I've been trying to do that lately, and I just feel so much more connected whenever I go to church now. I don't just feel like I'm reading the words and singing the songs, I actually understand what they mean and I appreciate them now. It's incredible. I want to be a better person-a better friend, a better daughter, a better sister, a better girlfriend (if the opportunity arises), a better Christian. I think I can be all of these if I make a genuine effort to improve myself and be true to myself. 6 comments|post comment

It's a small world after all... [17 Aug 2003|08:29pm] [ mood | devious ] [ music | Life on a Chain-Pete Yorn ] Wow so much has happened since I last wrote in here. I guess I'll start writing from what I can last remember. Week 2 of band camp was.....long....and hot. Yeah that pretty much sums it up. We did finish learning the entire opener though, which is quite an accomplishment. The talent show was quite entertaining, except of course, for the Sailor Moon bit. Yeah let's not discuss that any further. The rest of my summer was basically hell. No I shouldn't say that, only certain aspects of it were. Like every single second that I spent at my house with my parents. Because all we did was fight. About everything. But it finally got so bad this past week that I yelled at my dad and I guess we both realized how bad our relationship had gotten. So we are on good terms now, and...I'm finally off all punishments!! Very exciting. Then there was school. I can't say it's been horrible. Actually I think this year will turn out to be quite fun. My schedule is: 1-Band 2-AP Physics (Darrell) 3-AP Language Arts (Pulliam) 4-AP US History (Brewer) 5-Gifted Precal (Kritch) 6-German II (Tweedy) I can already tell this year is going to be unbelievably hard. I stayed up until at least 11 every night the first week doing homework. I guess that's what I get for taking 3 AP classes while working and doing band. Hopefully it will turn out alright. As for Frank...he's very sweet. But I'm pretty sure he's not for me. Maybe I'm just too picky. I feel really bad because I've definitely stopped liking him so much and I know he hasn't stopped liking me. Because he keeps buying me flowers and Build-a-Bears and planning surprises. It's ok, he will be gone within a week. Which is sad, but I won't be as sad as I thought I would. Brooke's party was last night. What was really cool was when Brooke, Becky, Heather, Rebecca, Jeannine, Amanda, and Julia came to see me at Publix. Good times. Then of course good conversations at the actual party...and more good times later on that night, hehe. Everything happens for a reason... Funny story: So about a week ago this guy comes into Publix and asks me for my number. He is deaf (or at least partially), but he seems nice enough so I give it to him. We exchanged a few text messages and whatnot. So I tell my mom about him, and she goes, "Hmm...there is a deaf guy that lives across the street who is about that age. Wouldn't it be funny if it were the same guy?" So we looked in our neighborhood directory and sure enough, it's the same guy. What a coinky-dink. 1 comment|post comment

Just cause you feel it doesn't mean it's there... [25 Jul 2003|10:49pm] [ mood | uncomfortable ] [ music | Boys Of Summer-The Ataris ] Okay so week 1 of band camp really wasn't THAT bad. Rebecca wasn't there the first couple days, so sectionals were kind of weird/boring. What was REALLY weird was showing up and not knowing half the people in the band. I swear, it feels like a completely different band without all the seniors. Today was the best day of camp, we started learning drill and we got out 2 hours early. Plus, we got to do a full run of the first movement with the percussion and it was awesome. I really think I will enjoy band this year. Other events of today, however, were not so fun. But I've learned an important lesson and I am hoping and praying that everything will work out for the best. My parents weren't as mad as I thought they would be, thankfully, probably because I was crying the whole time over what a moron I am. But anyway...looks like I won't have much spending money for the next few months, but that's my own fault so I can't really complain. Frank is incredible. On our first date he bought me a rose! And we saw Finding Nemo, which was like the cutest movie ever. We've also gone mini golfing and to see the laser show since then, and every date is more amazing than the last. But then there's that dark cloud lurking on the horizon...the fact that he will be moving next month. I don't know how I will be able to stand it. It's just not fair. 6 comments|post comment

Laugh until my head comes off... [15 Jul 2003|10:49pm] [ mood | excited ] [ music | Last Kiss-Pearl Jam ] Alright, sorry for the serious lack of updates lately but I've been working a lot and then I was going to update but my internet was down so....yeah. My new job has been going pretty well. I've been working a lot of hours, which is bad on the social level but good on the money making level. The only bad thing that has happened so far at my job was the fact that I got about $100 stolen from me. It was really my own fault for leaving that much money in my purse and then leaving it in the break room. That was a hard-learned lesson. Luckily, I babysat today and got some more money to at least tide me over to my next paycheck. But work really isn't bad. All the people I work with are really nice so that makes it a lot better than it would be otherwise. And I get to see Mindy :) But one of the biggest pluses of my new job is the guy I met hehe. His name is Frank, and he's a little older than me but...wow. I feel like I am falling for him after one week and that is definitely not good because he might be moving to Tennessee in a month. So I don't know what will happened with him, we are going out tomorrow night and I really really really hope he doesn't end up moving. I haven't really gotten to hang out with any of my friends lately due to work. Rebecca and I hung out yesterday since she's been away pretty much all summer. I love her so much, I don't know what I would do without that girl. Me and Desy have hung out a couple times, but other than that I haven't seen anyone since Lily was here. Oh yeah, and Katie's come over a few times and we went swimming. But anyway, the point is I WANT TO HANG OUT WITH YOU GUYS BEFORE THE SUMMER IS OVER!!!!! It's hard to believe school will be starting up again in less than a month. I haven't started my summer reading, I'm putting it off as long as possible. Then there's band camp, which is next week, and we are supposed to have our music memorized, what a joke. I haven't looked at it. I went to uniform fittings today, it was pretty gay. I'm so un-enthusiastic about this season, me and Rebecca were discussing it. It's basically going to be me, her, Michael, Quinn, and Daniel in band. How weird. I got stuck down in Doraville after my flute lesson last week. I got in the car and it wouldn't start. I was like great...I'm 30 minutes away from home, why couldn't this have happened anywhere else??? So anyway, I called my dad and he came and jump started my car, which we then took to the mechanics. When we got there I tried to start it again just out of curiosity and it worked fine. So we drove it home. But the next day I tried to go to work and it wouldn't start again, I couldn't believe it. So we took it back to the mechanic and it turned out that there was some interior light that wouldn't shut off and it was sucking power off the battery. They took out the light and now the car runs fine, we just have to wait for the replacement light to come in now. Let's see...nothing much else going on right now. If anyone wants to hang out soon give me a call! Oh by the way...I got my AP World History test scores back today...I don't know how but I managed to pull off a 4!!!!! Yay!!!! 1 comment|post comment

I hope you had the time of your life... [29 Jun 2003|11:33pm] [ mood | restless ] [ music | Miss Independent-Kelly Clarkson ] The past week was incredible. It was probably one of the best weeks ever. I only get to spend one week a year with Lily, and I am glad to say that we made the best we could of our short time together. A few highlights: -Being able to drive around by ourselves -Wal-Mart trips -Blowing all our cash at the mall on the first day -Checking out HOT guys -Getting hit on by NOT so hot guys -SIX FLAGS -Braves game -Beat game -Stone Mountain laser show -Watching movies -Our Monopoly tradition -Swimming at midnight -Playing volleyball -Me "working" at Dominoes -Miniature golf This list doesn't even do justice to all the good times and memories made. I can't believe how fast this week went by. It's funny how you look forward to something for months and it seems to take forever to come and you get yourself all ready to have a great time...and then you blink and it's over. 4 comments|post comment

There was a time you let me know what's real and going on below but now you never show it to me [18 Jun 2003|11:46pm] [ mood | discontent ] [ music | Send Me On My Way-Rusted Root ] It's hard when people who you used to be close to don't even acknowledge you anymore. But I guess things change. Tomorrow is my last day with babysitting, thank god. I think if I had to watch that girl another week I would go insane. I have orientation for Publix on Saturday all day...should be fun. And by fun I mean boring. You know what sucks? When you buy something at the mall and then lose the bag in another store. Yeah. Just call me Blondie. Oh well. Our cable box and modem got hit by lightning the other day and they took a while to come and fix them. It's weird how I never realize how addicted I am to the internet until it's not there. I thought I was going to go crazy if I had to go another day without checking my e-mail. I'm pathetic. Wow. This entry was completely pointless. 2 comments|post comment

Heaven is a place on earth... [15 Jun 2003|12:02am] [ mood | giddy ] [ music | Calm Like a Bomb-Rage Against the Machine ] Ok so I feel like I have grown up about five years in the last five days. ~Last weekend I got my car. Woohoo! 93 Buick, yeah baby! I don't care what it looks like though honestly. The only thing I care about is having my own car and being able to go where I want when I want instead of having to borrow my parents' cars. ~I also applied for a bunch of jobs last weekend, at Publix, Kroger, Walgreens, and Eckerd. On Tuesday Publix called back, and I had an interview on Thursday. They offered me a job, I am so lucky. $6.50 and hour and I can work whenever I want. How great is that?? It was so cool because when we walked out of the store there was a rainbow and I felt so blessed. Then me and my mom went to dinner together at O'Charleys to celebrate. Good times. ~Today at 4:30 I became a license Georgia driver. That's right, watch out everyone!!! Lol, just kidding. I'm a good driver, I promise. Of course I forgot my dumb ADAP card at home so my mom had to go back and get it. And when they took my picture, the lady made me laugh so my eyes are all squinty. It's ok though, I really don't care. We went out to eat at Olive Garden to celebrate. ~After dinner, we went and bought cell phones. I am soooo lucky. I got a really nice phone, and we were able to get a cheaper plan on the phones because of my dad's company. My number is 404-431-4461...call me!! ~On a less important note, I got a haircut yesterday. It's up to my shoulders, no layers. I think it's really cute. So in other news...well there really isn't anything else. I hung out with Kevin and Mark a couple times this week. That was fun. Everything is just going really good right now. Lily is coming next week and we are going to have a blast. We've already planned to go to Six Flags, Lake Lanier, and Stone Mountain while she's here. It's going to be great. 3 comments|post comment

Could you look me in the eye and tell me that you're happy now? [04 Jun 2003|10:51pm] [ mood | satisfied ] [ music | Everything in its Right Place-Radiohead ] Last weekend was so great. Friday was Katie and Valerie's graduation party. I was in a really bad mood on the way there because I had a bad day, but Kevin and Mark crack me up like no one else. So I had a great time at the party. There was a pinata and everything. And we played volleyball for a really long time, so long in fact that I got a big bruise on my arm from serving. But it was worth it. Saturday was graduation. It wasn't that long considering there were over 700 graduates and they finished in about two hours. Afterwards, me, Kevin, and Rebecca went to Kroger to buy some flowers and a balloon for KT. That was soooo funny, me and Rebecca were being so dumb on the way to the car, but I haven't laughed that hard in ages. So then we went to KT's and hung out for a while until we left for dinner. We ate the Blue Willow Inn, which was like an hour away, but it was worth it. The car ride home was awesome. We rocked it out. Then we went to Target, back to my house, then to Natalie's party. Ummm...it was interesting. We didn't stay very long. Sunday I performed in church. Fun stuff. Afterwards Rebecca and Desy came over to go swimming. Then Rachel came and picked me up and we went to see the Italian Job. And we went to Brusters. The movie was really good...so was the ice cream. My job blows. I need a new one. Any suggestions? A Walk to Remember=saddest movie ever. I cry like a baby whenever I watch it. Went out to dinner with the family tonight. It's been a while since that happened. We went to Chili's to celebrate my sister's report card. Surprisingly, I was kind of disappointed in the food. It wasn't that good. Oh I got sunburned today. In like the 20 minutes I was laying out with Desy, the backs of my legs got burned. It looks really cool...NOT. ATTENTION: ANYONE WHO WISHES TO IS WELCOME TO COME SWIMMING AT MY HOUSE AT ANY POINT THIS SUMMER. JUST GIVE ME A CALL ANYTIME IF YOU ARE INTERESTED! 1 comment|post comment

Long days of summer are ahead [29 May 2003|10:32pm] [ mood | accomplished ] [ music | Spiderman in the background ] I still cannot get over how fast this year went by. Everyone tells me that as you get older, time starts going by faster and faster. So far, that seems to be holding true. The last three days of school were actually kind of fun. I wish we had half days all the time. Friday Desy and me went to Chick-Fil-A and she took me home after almost KILLING ME-thanks Dez. Yeah...then the weekend was really boring. It was weird to take one day of finals and then have three days off. Then Tuesday me and Katie went out to lunch at Chili's and then ran some errands. Wednesday...let's see. Katie took me home, then Desy came and picked me up to take me back to school because I had to bring my Chemistry book to Herbig. Then she drove me to Rebecca's house, where her brother took us to the mall to have lunch and see Bruce Almighty (cute, funny movie). Then Michael picked us up and drove me back to my house where I JUST made it in time to get the kids off the bus. I really cannot wait until I get my license and I won't have to depend on other people for rides anymore. My grades were...eh. Ok. I ended up with: Language Arts-88 Band-100 Math-86 German-97 Chemistry-Not sure History-92 I was especially proud of my history grade, because at the beginning of the semester it was a 79. My math grade, however, is not too hot. I got a 72 on the final and it brought my down 2 points. Oh well, it's over. Can't change it now. This weekend I used this straightening stuff in my hair. It works like a perm, except it has the opposite effect. It took about an hour to apply everything, and my mom had to help me, but apparently it worked. My hair looks A LOT better. And it's so much faster and easier to do now. It makes me happy. Today was my first day babysitting-a preview of what's in store for this summer. Actually it wasn't too bad. I had to be at the house at 6:45, but once I get there I can go back to sleep until the girl wakes up. And then we're free to basically do whatever we went-today we just went down to my house and went swimming and hung out all day. So really I'll get paid to sit around and relax at my house all summer. Not too bad. Of course I won't be able to go anywhere which kind of BLOWS but oh well. I don't know how much I will ask for per week yet. I think today the lady suggested $50 a week, but that is a GIGANTIC rip-off. That's what she was paying me for watching them just after school every day. So I don't know. I'll probably suggest like $125 a week. I really want this summer to be awesome. I've been trying to get it off to a good start. Me and Rebecca had so much fun at the mall on Wednesday. We laughed as hard as ever and made fools of ourselves. We saw Heather there too with her sister, it was fun. I've also been trying to spend time with some of the seniors graduating this year. And I want to see them a lot this summer. Geez it's going to be so weird next year without them. Tonight I went to Target with my mom and on the way home we started talking about orthodontic work for some odd reason. So we got on the subject of headgear, and we were laughing so hard at the thought of headgear that my stomach started hurting. My mom was like, "Who ever came up with the idea to lasso a tooth with a piece of metal and attach it to a strap that goes around your head??" It made me feel really good to laugh with my mom. OH AND ALSO: MY MOM GOT A JOB!!!!! Yay! Well, it's only a temp. job, but we have to be grateful that she got one at all. She will be working most of the summer, and then I guess she will have to start looking again. But every little bit counts, right? 2 comments|post comment

It's hard to live with regrets. [19 May 2003|09:23pm] [ mood | sad ] [ music | Greatest Day-Bowling for Soup ] This weekend was pretty fun. Friday night all my band girls slept over. It was sooo fun. We went swimming until like 11:30, and we had to do water aerobics to keep warm. And of course we stuffed our faces, plus laughed at funny people in the yearbook and talked a bunch. I've realized something very depressing recently. The friends who I THOUGHT were my best all year turned out to be the worst, while the some of those who I want to be closer with now are all leaving very soon. It makes me really sad. I really think that this year is going to be the worst as far as losing close graduating seniors. Anyway, enough on my life perspective. The Matrix: Reloaded=INCREDIBLE. Wow. That's all I have to say about that. 4 1/2 more days of school. Crazy. I'm just trying to get in all those last minute projects, final reviews, yearbook signings...I'm so sad. On a brighter note, I'm getting my license in less than a month. My mom made the appointment today-June 14 at 3:00. Good thing I will have it before Lily comes...I bet I can convince my parents to let me drive her around despite the six-month rule. My ear infection STILL isn't better. This half-deaf stuff is really starting to get old. I'm already on my second kind of medication since the first one didn't work. This must have been a really bad one. Kevin is right. I do have a boring life. 3 comments|post comment

I love you like a fat kid love cake... [15 May 2003|08:55pm] [ mood | anxious ] [ music | The Jump Off-Lil' Kim ] Fun times in Language Arts this morning...quite amusing. So it's been an interesting couple of weeks. We got a new dog. His name is Sugar, he is a 6-year-old Pomeranian, very adorable...or he will be when his fur grows out again. Apparently one of his previous owners didn't take care of his hair very well and they just had to shave him because it was in such bad shape. But he is still a cutie. I think I am getting a car. Unbelievable, I never thought I'd say those words, at least not at this point. But yeah, my grandfather might be able to get me a deal. And as long as I pay for the insurance, my parents are ok with it. Of course, I have to get my license first...details, details. Speaking of which, I attempted parallel parking the other night. Surprisingly, I didn't do all that badly. On my first try I kind of bumped the car behind me...whoops. But then I think I got the hang of it and did pretty well. Now I just have to take the test...if my mom EVER makes the appointment. I took my AP World History exam on Monday. It was a mother. Seriously. I did horrible on the essays. I mean, one of them was on Islam, which I know NOTHING about. So I basically BSed the whole thing. But at least I wrote something for it, which is more than some other people did. I didn't go to school Tuesday or Wednesday either. I had an unexpected ear infection, totally random. I guess it is a pretty bad one because I still can't hear out of my left ear and I have been taking medicine for 3 days now. But I decided to go back to school today anyway. I finally got my yearbook-Katie, Mindy, and everyone else on the yearbook staff: it really looks great. You guys should be proud of yourselves. I like how after 3 days of absence, I made up almost all of the work I missed in one hour. I couldn't make up math because my teacher wasn't here today. But everything else-I'm on top of it. I can't believe I will be a junior in a week and a half. That's like...halfway through high school. Doesn't JUNIOR sound so much older than SOPHOMORE? I don't know if I like it. I don't think I am ready. 1 comment|post comment

Listen up girls [10 May 2003|10:22am] To anyone who is interested~ As I'm sure you all know, Justin Timberlake and Christina Aguilera are coming to Philips arena on July 12. My dad MIGHT be able to get us some REALLY awesome seats. They would probably cost about $68, so if anyone wants to go, please let me know ASAP because he is going to find out about them on Monday and if he can get them, he needs to know how many to get! 3 comments|post comment

You can turn off the sun...but I'm still gonna shine [01 May 2003|08:47pm] [ mood | apathetic ] [ music | Better Living Through Chemistry-QOTSA ] Since 2 people today told me to update...I figured I would. My dad got back from Arizona today. He had to drive out there with my grandpa. I'm really really really really happy he is back. It feels like he has been gone a month rather than a week. I'm so lucky to have a dad that's always there for me. I think I sometimes take that for granted, but right now I just feel grateful that he is back home safe and sound after all his travels. My grandmother left on Wednesday morning. It was bittersweet for me. On one hand, I was relieved to have my normal life back again. On the other, I felt bad for her going back to Rhode Island all alone. I stayed home from school yesterday-bad cold. I almost didn't go today either, because I woke up at 2:30 with the worst headache of my life. But I took some Tylenol and it felt better after a while. It would have been bad if I had missed school again because I had Gateway Testing today. I started feeling crappy again around 4th-5th period, but Michael got me some medicine-thanks again for that. Tuesday was our band banquet. It was ok...we went out for ice cream afterwards. I ordered WAY too big of a cone and Rebecca made a fool of herself in front of a stranger in line. But didn't we all? Good times, good times. Oh yeah...there was definitely an earthquake on Tuesday morning. I woke up and was totally freaked out when I saw everything shaking. But then I started thinking it was just a dream, so I dismissed the experience...except before I left my room, I saw a bunch of my CDs on the floor. Then I realized it wasn't a dream. Crazy stuff. Why do teachers insist on loading us up on work the last month of school? It's such a pain. With beautiful weather and fun friends...sitting inside doing 5 page research reports is definitely not what I want to be doing. AP exam is in a week and a half and I am so not ready. Thank goodness Gateway is over, such a stupid test. 22 comments|post comment

Just discovered some of the rest of the iceberg [22 Apr 2003|09:12pm] My grandparents are getting a divorce. The grandfather who was married to the grandmother that just died is getting a divorce from his second wife, the one who I know as my real grandmother. The one he has been married to for 30 years. The one he has been cheating on the whole time. 3 comments|post comment

As if this is what I really needed [22 Apr 2003|08:33pm] I'm going to refrain from writing about all the drama that happened today simply because I am tired of discussing it and I don't feel like writing more. All I want to say is I hope that two people get what they deserve. After informing me of his mother's death, my dad later told me that I only know "the tip of the iceberg" of what's going on in our family. That makes me really scared. What else could be wrong? I mean, already, our car is broken down and is going to cost $2300 to fix, my dad has to buy a $475 plane ticket to Rhode Island, my sister sprained her arm, and quite frankly there isn't enough money for all of this. And my dad has to drive out to Arizona with my grandpa next week. So he won't be home then either. He leaves tomorrow morning. I hope everything works out...the next couple of weeks are going to be really rough. 2 comments|post comment

navigation [ viewing | most recent entries ] [ go | earlier ]